Hoops
If anything in my life is liable to push me over the edge, it’s Caltech’s voicemail system. Typically in software development, the mantra is, “Easy Things Easy, Hard Things Possible.” But this phone system seems to be modeled on the notion that “You’d better really want your voicemail, or you just ain’t getting it.”
Welcome to Audix. For help at any time, press *H.
“OK, I’ve called this voicemail system more than five times. Please stop telling me about the help feature.”
Please enter extension and pound sign.
“But I’m calling from a Caltech phone! It’s my Caltech phone!”
Enter password and pound sign.
“But I’m… ARGH, nevermind. Here you go.”
One new message.
“Awesome! So what is it?”
To record messages, press 1. To get messages, press 2. To administer personal greetings, press 3.
“Okay, I just got a message, so please, just let me get to it already.”
New messages. Voice call from blah blah [15 seconds of inane babble about this voicemail message]
(sound of blood-vessels popping)
To listen, press 0. To delete, press *D. To skip, press the pound key.
And then finally I get to the actual voicemail message, after four separate entries on the keypad. Not to mention having to call the voicemail system extension in the first place. What madness is this. I tell you, on a stressful day, this really gets me riled up!
Cellphone companies have it right. I hold down one button to connect to the voicemail system, and then I don’t do anything else - it just starts reading off my messages.